the malice of inanimate objects

• Car batteries running out
• The wiper fluid running out as you’re trying to clean that giant bird shit off the window
• Shoelaces snapping just as you’re late for the bus
• Coffee table corners
• The legs of a bed
• Your new pinata flying off the top of the things your bringing in just as you reach the door
• The tea bag bursting in the cup
• Learning that the odd little red light on the dishwasher means that the rinse aid is out
• The replacement lightbulb is also broken
• Finding three batteries when you need four